CAUSE OF DEATH
Newborn Speculator Achieves Escape Velocity Instantly
Here we observe a most curious specimen: a token so young it hasn't yet learned to tie its own blockchain, yet somehow managed to convince $366,965 worth of traders that 179% gains in 120 minutes is a sound financial strategy. The revoked authorities suggest a responsible creator, but the liquidity pool of $27,806 tells a rather different story—a lifeboat designed for exactly three people to escape simultaneously.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Gravity eventually returns all memes to Earth
EPITAPH
"Two hours of existence, infinite dreams of lambos, zero understanding of mathematics."
