CAUSE OF DEATH
Newborn Prodigy Achieves Escape Velocity in Hour One
In the primordial seconds of its existence, The Man from the Future experienced what can only be described as a spectacular metabolic spike—a fever dream of 804% gains that would make even the most optimistic venture capitalist weep with joy. Yet here lies the paradox: a token so young it hasn't finished its first nap, already trading more volume than some established projects see in a month, with authorities dutifully revoked as if performing last rites before the corpse had even cooled.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Premature hyperinflation masquerading as genius
EPITAPH
"It predicted the future so accurately, it saw its own pump-and-dump coming—and arrived fashionably early to the party."
