CAUSE OF DEATH
Cereal Guy: A Breakfast of Champions Turned Breakfast of Losers
Here we observe the skeletal remains of Cereal Guy, a token that achieved the remarkable feat of being simultaneously dead and alive—much like Schrödinger's breakfast cereal, if Schrödinger's box contained only seven increasingly panicked investors. The creature's final gasps, a desperate 15.7% price convulsion, proved merely the death throes of a predator devouring its own young, as the top ten holders—who are apparently the same person wearing different hats—owned every last crumb.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Concentration camp liquidity, zero volume suffocation
EPITAPH
"It poured milk into an empty bowl and called it tokenomics."
