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CAUSE OF DEATH

TRUMP9000 Dies in Spectacular Five-Hour Inferno

In the primordial soup of Solana's blockchain, we witness a creature born mere hours ago, already gasping its final breath. The 508% price swing—a death rattle masquerading as vitality—fooled precisely no one with a functioning prefrontal cortex. Like a mayfly with delusions of grandeur, T9000 has completed its lifecycle in the time most humans spend sleeping.

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