CAUSE OF DEATH
One Dog, Zero Survival Instincts Observed
In the Serengeti of cryptocurrency, we observe a peculiar specimen—born merely an hour ago, already displaying the telltale signs of predatory concentration and liquidity evaporation. With 98.7% of its population controlled by a mere handful of alpha holders, this creature never stood a chance; it's as if evolution itself rejected the very premise. The irony is exquisite: a token promising life-changing returns instead delivered a masterclass in how to redistribute wealth vertically within sixty minutes.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Acute centralization with liquidity complications
EPITAPH
"One dog promised to change your life—it did, just not in the way you'd hoped."