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Grand Theft Auto's Financial Cousin Expires Violently

In the span of merely sixty minutes, GTA Dollars experienced what financial analysts delicately call 'catastrophic volatility'—a euphemism roughly equivalent to describing a plane crash as 'unexpected turbulence.' The creature, though blessed with revoked authorities suggesting noble intentions, could not survive the savage predation of its top ten holders, who collectively consumed nearly three-fifths of its body before the market's fever broke.