CAUSE OF DEATH
Wikipetan: A One-Hour Miracle Gone Wrong
In the cruel theater of decentralized finance, we observe a most peculiar specimen—born merely sixty minutes ago, yet already displaying the feverish vitality of a creature destined for swift extinction. Note the Grade A health assessment paired with suspicious liquidity of fifteen thousand dollars and a concerning concentration of wealth among the privileged few. One watches, with anthropological fascination, as the market's fever dream begins its inevitable cool.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Severe acute liquidity evaporation syndrome
EPITAPH
"They said it had potential. It had fourteen percent and a prayer."
