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Newborn Token Shows Suspicious Vitality Signs

In the frozen tundra of Solana, we observe a curious specimen—merely an hour old, yet displaying the feverish 158% gains of a creature in its death throes. The authorities, both mint and freeze, have been ceremoniously revoked, a gesture as reassuring as a surgeon removing their gloves mid-operation. With $20 million in volume churning through a $20,000 liquidity pool, we witness nature's most elegant confidence game: the illusion of abundance masking the imminence of collapse.