CAUSE OF DEATH
The Wrapped Asset That Refused to Die
Here we observe a most peculiar specimen: a token that has somehow survived the cryptozoic extinction event, its pulse steady at a measly 0.7% heartbeat. With authorities revoked and liquidity flowing like a modest creek, cbBTC presents the paradox of a financial organism that is neither thriving nor deceased—merely existing in a state of institutional purgatory, trading $10 million daily while accumulating holders with the enthusiasm of a tax audit.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Premature declaration of demise
EPITAPH
"It lived. It traded. It wrapped Bitcoin competently. No one particularly noticed."