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CAUSE OF DEATH

Flying Backpack Weasel: A Newborn Tragedy

In the vast savanna of Solana, we observe a most peculiar specimen—the Flying Backpack Weasel, born mere hours ago, yet already exhibiting the telltale signs of acute pump-and-dump syndrome. With ninety-five percent of its meager existence concentrated in the paws of its ten largest predators, this creature never had a chance. Nature, it seems, is far more merciful than the average retail investor.

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