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Newborn Token Experiences Suspicious Growth Spurt

In the primordial swamps of Solana, a curious specimen emerged merely an hour ago, already displaying the feverish vital signs of a creature living at unsustainable metabolic rates. With 311% price appreciation and nearly $683,000 in volume, this infant shows all the hallmarks of a sugar-rush fever dream—thrashing wildly in its crib before the inevitable collapse. One observes, with morbid fascination, that the authorities have been revoked; a mercy killing, perhaps, or merely removing the guardrails before the fall.