CAUSE OF DEATH
Laika's Cosmic Journey: Four Hours to Oblivion
Here we observe the First Space Dog, a creature born mere hours ago, already exhibiting the feverish symptoms of unsustainable euphoria. With a 275% surge in price and a modest $32,785 in liquidity, it has attracted precisely the wrong kind of attention—the kind that devours its young. Like its namesake, this token was always destined for the void, though considerably faster than the original's orbital decay.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Parabolic pump meets insufficient gravitational pull
EPITAPH
"It went to space, but the only thing getting launched was investor capital into the thermosphere."