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CAUSE OF DEATH

World Cup Market Collapses Before Halftime Whistle

And so we observe the World Cup Market in its natural habitat—a mere hour into existence, already gasping for air like a footballer who forgot his inhaler. With zero liquidity and eighty-two percent of tokens held by a suspicious cabal of insiders, this creature never stood a chance. One might say it scored an own goal before the referee even finished the national anthem.

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