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Donald Token: A One-Hour Extinction Event

And thus concludes the remarkable life cycle of Donald, a creature that experienced more volatility in sixty minutes than most organisms do in a lifetime. With a mere five holders controlling the entirety of its existence and liquidity that evaporated faster than morning dew, this token represents nature's most efficient demonstration of financial futility. One might observe that revoking both mint and freeze authorities was rather like locking the barn door after the horses had already disappeared into the blockchain void.