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CAUSE OF DEATH

Nietzschean Turtle: Born Gasping, Died Immediately

Here we observe a creature that never truly lived—a token so newborn it hadn't yet learned to breathe before the predators arrived. With 95% of its meager existence concentrated in merely ten hands, and zero liquidity to speak of, the Nietzschean Turtle discovered what Nietzsche himself knew: that which does not kill you immediately simply hadn't tried hard enough. In its brief zero-hour existence, it achieved the remarkable feat of being both technically sound and utterly worthless.

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