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CAUSE OF DEATH

Newborn Token Dies at Dawn, Suspicious Circumstances

In the waning hours of its existence, this freshly-minted specimen experienced a spectacular 447% surge—nature's way of saying goodbye with cruel irony. Born mere moments before its demise, it accumulated $107,000 in volume, a final thrashing of a dying creature attracting the vultures. The absence of liquidity proved fatal; like a fish flopping on dry land, it gasped dramatically before succumbing to the inevitable.

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