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The Shocked Monkey's Five-Day Demise

Here we observe The Shocked Monkey in its final moments—a creature so heavily concentrated in the hands of its top ten that it might as well have been a private equity fund with a meme mascot. With 95.2% of its population controlled by a mere handful of predators, and a liquidity pool barely sufficient to purchase a decent espresso machine, the primate's fate was sealed before it could even screech its first warning. In just 121 hours, this token experienced the full circle of life: conception, hype, and a 51.4% price plunge that would make Darwin weep.