CAUSE OF DEATH
Newborn Token Found Dead On Arrival
In the swamps of Solana, a peculiar creature emerged from the primordial ooze, its eyes wide with wonder and immediately caked in mud. Born mere hours ago, this magnificent specimen—the L[o_o]M—possessed all the hallmarks of evolutionary success: revoked authorities, concentrated holdings, and the kind of liquidity one might find in a puddle after a light drizzle. Yet nature, cruel mistress that she is, had dealt her harshest blow: ninety-four percent of its value evaporated before the sun had set on its first day of existence.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Catastrophic pump-and-dump by apex predators
EPITAPH
"It lived. It was listed. It died. L[o_o]M learned that in nature, the loudest eyes make the softest targets."
