CAUSE OF DEATH
Cecil the Gorilla: A Two-Hour Tragedy
In the waning moments of its brief existence, The Suicidal Gorilla exhibits all the hallmarks of a classic pump-and-dump—a spectacular 101% price surge fueled by the fevered dreams of 35 hopeful investors, now discovering that liquidity is as real as Cecil's survival prospects. With 90% of tokens concentrated in the top ten wallets and zero trading depth, this primate never stood a chance; it was less a token and more a carefully choreographed financial theater, complete with revoked authorities and a two-hour lifespan that makes mayflies look like tortoise.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Concentrated holdings, evaporated liquidity, hubris
EPITAPH
"It swung 101% in two hours—straight off the cliff it was named after."
