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CAUSE OF DEATH

Hanta Files: Dead on Arrival, Still Twitching

Here we observe a most peculiar specimen—born merely an hour ago, yet already displaying the telltale signs of catastrophic organ failure. The token achieved a miraculous 487% price movement in its first breath, a last desperate gasp before the vital organs of liquidity simply ceased to exist. One can only admire the sheer efficiency with which this creature managed to achieve complete cardiovascular collapse while still technically drawing breath.

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