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CAUSE OF DEATH

Higgs Boson Collapses Under Its Own Mass

Here we observe Mr. Higgs in its natural habitat: the neonatal ICU of the Solana blockchain. Born mere hours ago with all the structural integrity of a house of cards in a hurricane, this token achieved a remarkable 429% gain—a mathematical impossibility that should have triggered every alarm bell, yet somehow triggered none. The creature's death was not violent, but rather a slow asphyxiation beneath the weight of 62% concentration in the hands of its creators.

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