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CAUSE OF DEATH

Goblin's Four-Hour Descent Into Oblivion

In the beginning, there was hope—a 626% surge in mere hours, a miraculous resurrection promising riches to the faithful. But nature abhors a vacuum, particularly one worth zero liquidity, and so the xGoblin learned what all pump-and-dumps eventually discover: the exit is narrower than the entrance. Our specimen expired not with a whimper, but with the sound of twelve million dollars evaporating into the Solana void.

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