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CAUSE OF DEATH

Septuagenarian Tribute Token Expires Prematurely

Here we observe the Happy 80th Birthday Trump token in its final throes—a specimen that achieved a remarkable 131% price swing whilst possessing absolutely no liquidity, rather like a man celebrating his birthday with an empty wallet. The creature's 57 remaining holders cling to their positions with the desperation of relatives at a will reading, unaware they're holding shares in what is essentially a financial Ponzi scheme with ceremonial intent. With zero trading volume and a top ten commanding 63% of all tokens, this memorial to geriatric politics has become a cautionary tale written in blockchain and regret.

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