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Saber-Tooth Tiger Dies Toothless and Alone

Here we observe the Saber-Tooth Tiger in its final hours—a creature born merely five days ago, already circling the drain with the grace of a wounded gazelle. The 48 remaining holders watch as their apex predator reveals itself to be little more than a domesticated house cat, its $2,770 watering hole evaporating faster than morning dew under the Serengeti sun. In nature, we call this 'natural selection.' In cryptocurrency, we simply call it 'Tuesday.'