CAUSE OF DEATH
Newborn Token Found Dead in Crib
In the unforgiving savanna of decentralized finance, we observe a remarkable specimen that achieved the impossible: dying before it truly lived. Born merely sixty minutes ago, this creature experienced a catastrophic 74.7% hemorrhage, its lifeblood draining into the waiting mouths of those who held the majority. Nature, it seems, abhors a vacuum—and appreciates a quick exit.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Acute concentration death syndrome, hours old
EPITAPH
"Here lies Goyim: arrived at dawn, departed by breakfast. The whales didn't even need to hunt—they simply exhaled."