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CAUSE OF DEATH

Newborn Token Flatlines After Spectacular Seizure

In the swamps of Solana, a creature emerged mere hours ago, possessed by the fevered dreams of naming committees gone mad. It burned brilliantly—a 713% ascent in twenty-four hours—before discovering that liquidity, like oxygen, is rather essential for survival. Nature, it seems, abhors both vacuums and tokens with zero backing.

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