CAUSE OF DEATH
Alien Makes First Contact With Reality
Here we observe a remarkable specimen—merely hours old, yet already displaying the frenetic energy of a creature possessed by forces beyond comprehension. The 746% price surge represents not vitality, but rather the violent spasms of a token experiencing its first encounter with market gravity. Like a mayfly granted consciousness, it has achieved spectacular ascent only to discover that physics, ultimately, is unimpressed.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Existential incompatibility with market fundamentals
EPITAPH
"It came from the stars with the life expectancy of a snowflake in a supernova."
